Pursuing Our Untamable God – Kim Meeder Part 1

he says don’t you know I’m with you
walking with you step for step Jesus Christ love and hope and joy in peace is
not the light at the end of the tunnel he is the light in that black place so
true welcome to the focus on the family
broadcast helping families thrive John I am so excited to have Kim back with us
she’s a gifted storyteller and has such passion for leading people to the Lord
which when you get down to it that’s what it’s all about and you’re not gonna
want to miss a single minute of the program today especially if you need a
word of encouragement from the Lord and that’s what Kim so brilliantly captures
she’s so in tune with the Spirit of God I deeply appreciate this sister in that
way Kim welcome back to focus thank you it’s wonderful to be back with
my brothers yeah we’re like energized we’ve been talking already and we got to
start now with the broadcast because we’ve been at it going talking about
what the Lord is doing it’s so much fun but anybody who meets you immediately
senses the presence of God you just have that ability for those that don’t know
you the recap isn’t man the Lord put you through some difficult stuff as a little
girl just if you could freshen that story to
remind the listeners or for the first time to tell them who you are
absolutely it what I know is true is that everyone comes from somewhere and
everyone has been through something and God’s Word is also true in everywhere
throughout scripture but in Psalms 23 we read that he says don’t be afraid I’m
with you through this valley of the shadow of Darkness my Radha my staff my
comfort of my protection I’m with you and that is also true as we walk through
very very dark times that became real to me at a young age when I was 9 and as I
had shared previously at 9 that’s when my mom I I wanted to grow up and be like
her and my dad he was a super hero and war cape in flu in my mind and
it was during that season of my life that my dad’s best friend came to my
little grade school and put me in the back of his car and my two older sisters
alongside and started to drive in silence down a very familiar Road that
led to my grandparents house and he wouldn’t speak and I knew during that
silent drive that something horrific had happened and just had that choking
feeling around my throat that I can’t breathe something terrible has happened
and no one will tell me what it is and we arrived to my grandparents house and
there were cars all over and and you could feel the grief just waving from
the house and for the first time in my young life I did not want to go into a
home where I only ever felt loved I was afraid and I was pushed into the arms of
a woman that I didn’t I didn’t know her name I recognized her finally she just
said I’m so sorry I don’t know how to tell you this but your father has just
murdered your mother and taking his own life I’m so sorry
yeah and I remember thinking wait a minute my dad loves my mom and he loves
me and he would never do that you’re a liar
and I just popped off of her chest and ran out the back door in this child’s
effort to just outrun the unthinkable and just ran and ran and ran until there
was just nothing left and and it wasn’t even a long distance it felt like days
and just fell down in the dirt it was in an orchard that had just been plowed and
I remember just grabbing handfuls of dirt in this effort to hold on to their
memory if I can just hold on it won’t be true I could hear myself saying Jesus
help me Jesus I need you now Jesus help me yeah I didn’t even know who Jesus was
I wasn’t raised in the church I wasn’t raised in a Christian home I can only
remember going to church twice before that but I didn’t know that God’s Word
is true and in places like Rome chapter 1 where it says that God has
made within the heart of every man the desire to know him and it doesn’t matter
how you were raised or what culture you’re from or what you were taught to
believe when our heart is being crushed we know intuitively to turn to the one
who made that heart because we know somehow through the power of his spirit
that he’s the only one who can heal it and redeem it mm-hmm I did not know then
the power of verses like Romans 10:13 that says everyone who calls on the name
of the Lord will be saved every one a few verses higher it says that salvation
is as near as your lips in your heart if you profess with your mouth that Jesus
is Lord and believe in your heart that he’s God you will be saved I didn’t know
any of that all I knew in that moment of crush was
that there was a pop in my heart an ignition of hope and that somehow I’m
gonna get through this somehow I’m gonna make it and now I know in a way that I
cannot verbalize I’m not alone anymore yeah and that was the beginning of
knowing Jesus Christ in this wild child’s life yeah that was the beginning
of everything I didn’t know then that every ounce of pain you and I will ever
feel in this life the Lord has already assigned for his will when we’re
suffering we just can’t take in the truth that God is going to do something
mighty and beautiful and powerful through our pain when people try to
share that with us it makes us mad it makes us frustrated you don’t know what
I’m going through you don’t know what I feel you just don’t know and the truth
is Jesus Christ doesn’t know absolutely and that he’s the only one who can take
what the enemy means to destroy us by and do this Genesis 50:20
what the enemy was gonna crush you by oh don’t you know I’m gonna let that be the
very thing that gives you life and not only you everyone you give it to only
Jesus can do that that’s so cute there is one pain that you and I can
experience that he cannot redeem one one and that’s the pain that we choose to
not give him and that’s just pain that destroys and that’s walking through that
valley of the shadow of darkness and sitting down in the middle and camping
out in living in pain and grief and suffering and we were never called to do
that he says don’t you know I’m with you walking with you step for step Jesus
Christ love and hope and joy in peace is not the light at the end of the tunnel
he is the light in that black place that’s so true leading us through but
we’ve got to choose to trust him step for purposeful I will get through this
because jesus promised me Jesus I will follow you through this black paint
place because you are with me and I know that in a way that only God can you’re
gonna do something amazing because of this I don’t get it
you never asked me to you don’t ask me to understand your ways
you only ask me to trust you for them yes and that’s not hard yeah it’s so
good and that that is I wanted people to hear that background because so many
times they won’t understand where’s this passion coming from what have you lived
through and that is so critical and I love that end you know one of the things
that I enjoy saying when I speak is that we don’t own our testimonies Jesus
bought them with the price of his blood these are his testimonies working
through us Wow he’s just saying are you willing to walk it for me yesterday they
belong to him right right because we’re his creatures created in His image and I
just I love that kind of perspective you have written this great new book
encountering our wild God now some people think no God’s not wild how could
you say that sounds sacrilegious that God would be
wild no he’s tamed he’s refined go there for a minute
why did you choose a title to describe God as a wild God you and I cannot look
at what he is created and not know that he is not wild and unfathomable and
untamable and uncontainable his word is true in Isaiah 55 where he says oh don’t
you know my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your
thoughts and as high as the heavens are above your so am i higher in my dealings
than you my love my joy my peace my hope cannot fit it cannot fit into your
understanding don’t even try just trust me for it just trust me for it his
Redemption we cannot fit it in the confines of the little teeny tiny box
that makes sense to us God is wild his love crashes through every boundary that
we think he can’t get through his redemption in his hope and his peace
roars over the mountain range around us that we just say God it’s impossible it
is impossible for me to get through this and he just roars right over it and
mountains skip out of the way and they say after you our God and our maker and
we just experienced this tsunami of love that pours over us it doesn’t matter if
we understand it it just is nothing that he is can fit with anything that we
understand about him our God is wild he doesn’t ask us to understand he just
asked us to trust him for believers because of what Jesus Christ has already
done there’s always a way we just can’t see it but we can trust him for it
we can just say I trust you Jesus more than my education more than my logic
more than my skillset more than how I feel oh my word more than our
motions I trust you more here I come I’m getting out of the boat and I’m running
to you Lord will you catch me and I just see him with his arms open staying run
beloved run this is what I’ve designed you to do
I’ve designed you to run to me through everything that makes sense in your mind
I’ll catch you every time will you trust me more than your senses it is I who am
with you always yeah the god side of the equation is so
I mean you are expressing it I mean that vivid imagery that you’re giving us
God’s open arms the question is on our end how do we learn to walk in that kind
of simplicity we overcomplicated right I haven’t done the right things we keep a
scorecard the Lord may not love me because I did this this and that how do
we settle our hearts to look at the simplicity of God in that wild nature of
helping us absolutely our enemy is a thief and a liar and he dwells in that
analysis – paralysis you not you’re never you always you don’t know enough
you don’t say enough you don’t know his word enough right loblolly accusation
correct when serving God knowing God releasing his spirit that lives inside
of us is really as simple pray listen and do what he asks it really is that
simple all throughout God’s Word we are
commanded pray without ceasing pray at all times pray on every occasion in the
power of the Holy Spirit every opportunity you get pray pray pray were
commanded by God himself when he spoke over Jesus this is my beloved son who
I’m well pleased listen to him and do the whole New Testament is about
doing James the whole book is about doing Ephesians 2:10 you’re my
masterpiece created to do action what I’ve planned for you long ago we pray we
listen we do and that’s when we see this the Holy
Spirit Rohr threw us into the environments around us it really is that
simple and as I’m learning how to do this
he is transforming not only my life but all the lives in my environment I love
that I’m thinking that Scripture it says do these good deeds so that the law nor
your father in heaven I think the day is the world and it’s saying no it doesn’t
say talk a good game right do these good deeds because that’s what people give
credence to that’s that means you believe it when you’re doing it whatever
it is you’re doing good things or bad things Kim last time you hear you shared
a wonderful story about going to goodwill but there is actually more to
the story involving a horse named I think a Lula I have that right what
happened so part of our ranches to rescue abused and hurting horses and
awhile back our ranch was contacted by a family that was just distraught they
said we have a horse we can no longer take care of and she has a horrific
wound on her shoulder and she was our dad’s horse and and the other day he
didn’t come in for dinner and we waited and waited and finally we went out to go
find why dad didn’t come in and he had passed away of natural causes in her
Corral in one of the places that he valued the most and this beloved little
mare was standing over him very carefully guarding him and grieving his
loss the one that loved her the most had passed away right in front of her and
and they said well you just come and take her we just don’t know what to do
and so we brought her home that day and her wound was significant it had been
stapled closed and all the staples had failed and and so we brought her into
our ranch and helped her back to health and her name is a Lula Ahlul is a name
of a star and her her scar is star-shaped and so God is always
painting a masterpiece as referred to in Ephesians 2:10 and when we don’t like
the current picture all it means and my wise sister tells me
this all it means is that Kim he’s not done yet
and so in practicing pray listen dua I was working on a project lord I need
frames where would you like me to go I’m just asking him in I’ve lived so
much of my life on autopilot I know how to do this I know how to do that I know
how to run this ranch and go grocery shopping get fuel buy coffee oh but God
here’s a spiritual part I better ask you I better pray and the Lord has loved me
enough to say honey don’t you realize every moment that you’re breathing
that’s the spiritual part I want you to ask me into all of it
psalm 37:23 says that he wants to be invited into every detail of our lives
so lord where do you want me to go by picture-frames
answer was strangely immediate good will awesome goodwill it’s like a giant yard
sale every day and so instantly shopping these affordable aisles with my little
blue basket gather up a bunch of frames go to the only checkout line that’s
available and as I step to the next position in line that’s when I heard the
young woman who was serving a man say oh I’m sorry I don’t know how to do this
transaction I’m gonna have to call for help so she called for help help came
cut right in front of me she was short she had fiery red hair and laser blue
eyes and she was mad and she hit my basket and almost knocked everything out
and she goes into the next checkout line and she opens it up and she sneers did
you find everything you need she hasn’t looked at me yet and I said actually I
found more than what I needed I’m going to do this speaking tour and and I found
more than what I was even looking for oh that’s great what do you speak about and
so I gave her just a thumbnail and I said I get to speak about hope and a
little bit about the ranch oh that’s great and she’s checking through all
these frames and then this beautiful young woman rocks back on her heels and
starts to shout in my face I’m so glad that you talked to people about hope
because I’m sick and tired nobody takes responsibility for anything anymore I’m
sick of it sick of it and I rock back on my heels
and I’m like oh my lord what do you want me to do with that
and like a bell on a clear day I can hear the Holy Spirit say I want you to
Point Blank her with what I’ve done for you and I got to be honest my first
response was abort abort she’s mad the guy behind me is mad
everybody’s mad she’s not gonna hear it Lord it’s a bad time it’s a bad time
really okay I’m going in God God has a sense of humor angel honey you’re right
I’m so glad that I get to talk to people about hope because hope is so vitally
important to our heart and for our life that without it everything is
meaningless hope is so important I remember not only the day but the moment
that genuine hope came into my heart and that was the day that my dad murdered my
mother and took his own life and that was the day that I met the author of
hope that was the day I met Jesus Christ and he’s been in my heart ever since and
she just went she didn’t move she didn’t breathe she stood there with her
shoulders up to her ears staring at the floor for what felt like a day she
looked like I had shot her with an arrow after a long moment she starts to exhale
and her shoulders start to settle down and as she’s raising her eyes to meet
mine they’re flooding with tears and she goes to open her mouth and these two
huge heavy streaks go down her face and this is a young woman who just screamed
in my face now she is speaking in a voice that I can barely hear it’s the
voice of a little little girl and she says in this tiny whisper I was 12 my mom killed herself right in
front of me and all I did was just open my arms in that universal gesture that
oh baby this hug is for you it was like throwing a life ring she wanted that so
desperately she didn’t even go around the counter she launched up onto the
checkout counter put her knees on the counter and just buried into a total
strangers neck and just wept left and right there in the checkout line of a
Goodwill store in a little town one former orphan got to introduce another
orphan to the love of Jesus Christ if you want to know the simplicity of the
wild love and redemption of our God it really is as simple as we pray and we
listen and we do and we just follow his spirit where his spirit wants to go
jesus said himself in John 4:23 and 24 that God has spirit he’s looking for
anybody anybody who will worship Him in spirit and in truth will happy you Kim
will it be you will you worship Him by following the voice of his spirit while
standing on the truth of his word because they always go together what the
Holy Spirit asks us to do will never work outside of the power and truth of
God’s Word because he’s the one who wrote it now we pray we listen and we do
Kim I mean it’s hard to breathe because you are bringing such a great truth to
the listener and we have flown through the first half-hour I mean this is
amazing the place to end it because I can envision that person weeping with
you right now another version of that clerk right
who’s never felt the love of God has not seen the enthusiasm of a believer like
you’ve got and I think the place to end is for you to pray for those people who
are saying Lord I want that I don’t know you I’m in the apple orchard grabbing at
the at the dirt like Kim was as a little girl
pray for them and let’s come back next time and we’ll get into more of that the
wise in the house Jesus Jesus Jesus I speak the power and
the authority and the pure love of your name over every single person who is
listening today who is collapsed in that place of brokenness and despair and
grief and pain and suffering that believes you do not see right now Holy
Spirit will you breathe over them in their car in their office in their
kitchen out in a field wherever they might be that they would feel the fire
of the presence of the Living God descending on them don’t you know I love
you you’re my son you’re my daughter and if you were the only one I’m coming for
you and I’m here right now reaching for you my beloved will you reach back and
take me by the hand I’ve got you I’ve got you and you are gonna make it
will you call on my name and invite me into your heart and your life to lead
you through this time I’ve got a plan I’ve got a purpose and it’s good because
I am good can you feel my arms around you now I love you so much
let’s walk out these days together and I will show you side by side my goodness
and my wild love for you my beloved thank you Jesus come in now we pray all
for your glory have your way a man can meet her
man this is the gospel and I want to pick up next time if you’re willing to
stay with us and talk about the introduction that you made between this
angel at Goodwill and alula let’s pick it up there can we do it yes sir hey I’m
John fuller and thanks for watching get more info about focus over here and more
from our guests over there and be sure to subscribe to our channel as well


  1. God did not put her through any of those horrible things. However, he is able us to the sorrow and pain to bring himself glory and honer like only he can do!

  2. I’m very , very sorry for your loss of your mom & dad & concerning the circumstances of their loss . May God be with u sister always !!!🙏🏼💙💕🥀

  3. I'm so grateful for this beautiful lady in Jesus, sweet sister my heart is refreshed through this.. Wow . Godbless

  4. Hallelujah! Just bumped into her on the SUPERNATURAL with Sid Roth yesterday & was blessed. Glad to be watching & listening to her again NOW.GOD BLESS YOU DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH

  5. From Ghana🇬🇭 God bless you Kim May the Gospel of the Lord set in you in your heart be heard by all. Bless with all Blessings.🙏🙏🙏

  6. Kim you are very awesome Christian. Sorry you parents died young. Also that you had go thru that drama. But God had plans for you. I want thank you Focus Family. I used listen to you 88.5 radio station at 5:00 am on way to work. Love Focus Family. Keep doing your good work. Kim please keep doing your good work too.

  7. Pray -Yes i pray most of my time everyday n night.
    Listen- Im weak as i dont know how.
    Im naive in what to do when im not able to listen to Gods voice.
    Ive tried n still trying but i feel let down and lost. Can someone advice me?

  8. Praise the Lord Sister Kim meeder may God keep his Heavenly Hands on you all the time I thank you for your words of encouragement I thank you for receiving God's prayers I thank you for the Lord has saved you I thank you for this message has reached me I know I asked for this world at 12 years old not knowing that the world is hell but I've been saved turned around from Darkness into the Heavenly light of our Lord and savior at age 45 I'm truly blessed to have another chance to make great change in our father Lord Jesus Christ he's always been in my heart and I believe that's who said me each and every day even in the time of Darkness

  9. Everyone? Jesus will save everyone that calls on his name? My three year old child yelled out for Jesus to help her when her dad sexually molested her. Repeatedly she told me and when cps and the police and the court would not listen I told her to call on JESUS and now she is enduring court ordered molestation. She is in the custody of her abuser. She told me she did call Jesus's name. Soon she'll be four. Please ask God to bring her home to me and to save us from this evil. Her dad's family is evil, full of satanism but modern day christains are turned off by what they don't understand. Why has God not saved my babies yet? My sweet babies. Even with forensic evidence the judge, whom I can only think of as corrupt, removed my babies from my home and gave them to that monster. Lord Jesus please end this soon.

  10. Wow!  I used to think my faith walk with God was strange, but by  listening to Kim I now understand this spiritual walk is not so strange.   Thank you Kim for your authenticity.

  11. I literally could not stop crying, and have no clue why, I am been saved for over 20 years, Jesus has by my side, every step of the way, for the people that don't know him, who have no hope, and are broken, this is message is for all of us. Jesus is the God of HOPE.

  12. God is the best broken heart mender. He is my everything. He is enough for me. Our testimonies are for His glory; so you can see, if He did it for me, He can do it for you too. He is not a respecter of persons. He is real and an AWESOME GOD. Gbu all. And if you haven't given your whole ❤ to Him, do so right now. Your life will never b the same 💃💃💃💃👆👆👆

  13. Kim it was a pleasure meeting you. You signed my book that you wrote. It truly changed my life as it really hit home. I have had similar trauma in my past. Not murder but other parts of your testimony. Thank you for sharing your story with such transparency. Love, prayers and continued peace. You are an earth angel dear sister in Christ. Please continue to share. Blessings, shalom and Aloha.

  14. Life is really beautiful. I am so glad that i am alive in Christ! I can do all things thro Christ who strengthen me.

  15. I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I can’t find that “desire…in every man to know Him…” verse in Romans Chapter 1. Does anyone know?

  16. I first see her on its supernatural with Sid roth, i was blessed,, she loves the lord you can feel when she says her experiences

  17. 🌹🌹 PLEASE – pray for my friend Gail she lives in Chicago. She is a kosher Jewish lady. In my careful, joyful efforts, and being careful and sensitive, I’ve tried to share Jesus with her. Well after a couple weeks of our texting back-and-forth, I would send her songs or a short video and I would pray for her, and more but gently. I could sense, I could feel… Her uncomfortability! Sadly today she just told me she does not believe in Jesus, nor does she want to hear anymore about the Lord. she does not believe there is a devil, she does not believe. I BEG please pray for my friend Gail, she she does not believe in hell. I think you get the picture. She said for our “new growing friendship“ to continue I must stop talking about Jesus Christ in any way, no more short videos etc. no more scriptures, however she will accept my prayers for her healing she has a terrible disease. I humbly ask anybody who reads this post to pray for Gail she will be going to Israel next month for her sons wedding. But she is sick with a rare disease. God bless anyone and everyone who enters a prayer for her! It is so true that a veil lives over their eyes & heart and they actually “refuse” to see. 🙏🏽😢✝️🌹💕👍🏽 

  18. 🌹🌹 Kim Meeder is AWESOME! She is so encouraging to me! I wish she would come and speak at our Aglow in Crystal River Florida… i’ll be praying! ✝️💕🙏🏽💖👍🏽

Leave a Reply

(*) Required, Your email will not be published