Myths about Christianity | Christian Divorce Encouragement


Divorce rates in the United States are well
over 50% and still rising! And unfortunately things aren’t very different
for those of us in the church. Or… are they? Well, stay tuned, because in this series,
we’re going to be talking about some myths about Christianity that you’ve been told
all your life. On this episode, we tackle Christian divorce. Hey guys, welcome back to my channel, my name
is Justin and you are watching That Christian Vlogger. I like to say this is a place where you get
to join me and experience faith in the first person. I make videos talking about some of the more
commonly believed myths about Christianity like this, every single Monday and Thursday
so definitely hit the subscribe and bell buttons bellow to know when new videos are out. Have you ever heard anyone ever say that one
out of every two marriages will end up in divorce? I know I have. As someone who grew up in a broken home, I
cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard this statistic shared in school or from the
pulpit. If I’m honest with myself, getting divorced
is probably one of my greatest fears of my life- that somehow, my marriage might end
up like one of the countless others that have ended up in divorce. You might think that this fear would subside
when I met my wife and that I would just have this reassurance that everything would be
OK, but it didn’t… In fact, this fear only got WORSE when I met
Emily. Emily, who, by the way, I have the privilege
of sharing our two year anniversary with today… so, Emily, I just wanted to say, “I love
you!” and I’m looking forward to dinner tonight! Why did meeting Emily make this fear worse? Well because apparently in her entire family,
with her dozens of aunts and uncles, not a single one has ever gotten divorce? Now that blew my mind back when I first learned
it and it still blows my mind to this day. These guys had to be freaks of nature. Or at bare minimum, they had to be angry,
lying, resentful, and unhappy in their marriages right? Because there is no way that so many people
end up both married AND happy right? Well, you might be surprised to learn that
this notion that half of all marriages ending in divorce is actually false. Time magazine announced in November of 2016
that U.S. divorce rates dropped for the third year in a row reaching it’s lowest point
in nearly 40 years. And no… this isn’t because less and less
people are getting married, because in 2015 a study by the National Center for Family
and Marriage Research recorded that the number of marriages relative to the female population
has actually INCREASED since 2014. Bloomberg also cited a few points worth mentioning. Probably in part from hearing so much about
the dangers and pitfalls of marriage from their parents, young people today are getting
married significantly later than their parents and actually getting divorced LESS. From the 40’s all the way to the 70’s
the typical woman was barely 20 years old on her wedding day. Today? That average woman is over 27 years old. Which as a side note… it really makes you
think when a person who is part of the generation who have had some of the highest rates of
divorce in the last century- when that person tells you that you’re too young to get married
or you’re too young for a serious relationship… maybe, JUST MAYBE, it’s worth considering? But the main question that I have for those
of us who have recently gotten married or are still single is how do we continue this
positive momentum? How do we change the trend set before us by
the Baby boomer generation who set pretty much every record in the book on marriage
and divorce? For some guidance I want to share with you
something that I learned from this book called, “Christian’s are hate- filled hypocrites…
and other lies you’ve been told” by sociologist Bradley Wright. In his book where Wright talks about several
different lies you’ve probably been told by the secular and religious media, he gives
some helpful food for thought on Christian divorce. Did you know the difference in statistics
on divorce vary according to average church attendance? According to his analysis on the data, those
who have never before attended church have divorce rates of around 60% which is a huge
difference when compared to the 38% of those who attend church on a weekly basis. The also is a difference amongst different
religious denominations with Catholics having the lowest divorce rates followed by Mainline
protestants, Evangelicals and black protestants. Harvard trained researcher and author Shaunti
Feldhahn also echoes this fact in her book, “The good news about marriage: debunking
discouraging myths about marriage and divorce”. She mentions that of all marriages, Christian
marriages prove to be the most durable. She mentions and I quote, “And it’s even
lower among churchgoers, where a couple’s chance of divorcing is more likely in the
single digits or teens.” Apparently the advice your grandmother gave
you all those years ago wasn’t so far off base after all. Put God first in your personal life and be
sure to have Christ be the very foundation upon which you build your marriage. Learn to forgive each other and serve each
other as Jesus did for the church and you can have a happy and successful marriage. Of course this is in no way saying that Christians
are perfect or that by being a Christian, marriage is magically easy. As someone who has just spent the last 730
days of his life being married to the most amazing woman in the world, I will say that
it still requires hard work, humility, and honesty every single day. But if these last two years have taught me
anything about life it is that there is not a single person with whom I would rather do
it with. Emily, you are the most amazing and caring
woman that I know, and I look forward to a lifetime of service both with and to you. Thank you for making me the happiest man in
the world. Thanks so much for watching to the end. I know Christian divorce can be a sensitive
subject but I still want to hear your thoughts on this video. As a young person or a young at heart person,
how do you view marriage and divorce? And what advice would you give to those who
are like me, still very fresh on this journey? Share your thoughts with me down below! But until next time, I’m That Christian
Vlogger, and I want to encourage you to experience, “Faith in the first person.” God bless!

42 comments

  1. congrats on your anniversary…
    God bless ,and keep you both. Also cheers for the great work you are doing

  2. Thank you for addressing such topics! That was so interesting! I understand how you feel about divorce… One of my fears is that I'll end up in a unhappy marriage. I think it is so important to cherish those years of being single in order to focus on God and build one's character in preperation for marriage. Thanks for your wisdom!

  3. I imagine you and Emily growing together instead of splitting up. God bless you both. You deserve each other.

  4. Great video, really good encouragement! Probably one of the most sweetest, Happy Anniversary! Praying for holy spirit filled singles and marriages in the church!

  5. I mostly agree with you, but it is important to say that sometimes, divorce can't be avoided (in case of abuse, for example).

  6. Christ as the foundation. Great reminder friend.

    My wife and I are 13 years in a row into this married life thing. It is hard. Be willing to struggle together and fight for your marriage. Seek wise council before you need it.

    Be blessed man. Congrats on two years!

  7. One of my favourite quotes in the movie Courageous is "Divorce happens because you make it an option… people don't fight for their marriages anymore"

  8. Congrats on your anniversary…hope yáll stay together forever….my advice…look to Christ rather than each other to meet yo needs….when things get hard..come back and read this comment(yo welcome)

  9. Happy Anniversary! Satan loves when Christians get a divorce. If we can "justify" our divorce by means of abuse, adultery, or addiction, he probably likes that even better. I'm a separated wife, standing for my marriage. If Jesus WANTED us to divorce, EVER for ANY reason, He would have given us that command and would not have had any reservations. He only made a caveat for "adultery" because of our hard hearts. It was not meant to be that way.

    I'm a firm believer that divorce should never EVER be an option. If safety is a concern, separation with the intent to reconcile is the only way that is truly God's best. I have not seen one Bible verse that gives us a way to leave a marriage with the feeling that we have pleased God.

    If marriage is meant to be an image of Christ and His church, that means we love unconditionally and we don't give up on our spouse. Marriage is a covenant, never a contract.

  10. Thanks a lot for this one of my worst fears is getting divorced too but I pray that it will never happen to me or my future spouse and I know when I get married it's a covenant and I will try my best to never break that and let Jesus keep us together

  11. The advice I always give on marriage is what my wife and I did when we were first married. One of us would get mad or frustrated with the other, but instead of pointing to the other person, we'd say, "I'm really bugged at you. I'm going to go into the other room and talk to God about what's going on in me." Inevitably, we'd discover something tweaked in our own hearts. Sometimes there was still a problem to be solved, but our heart-junk was always making it worse. Until we could figure out what was wrong in us, we couldn't fairly deal with the other person, let along figure out what their wrong was.

    Hope you're enjoying SoCal.

  12. when my wife and I got married everyone kept making speeches about divorce during the after party, we were both like "can you please shut up?" lol

  13. Congratulations Justin and Emily!! Happy 2nd Anniversary!!💐🌸💮🏵🌹🌷⚘🌺🌼🌻

  14. May God bless Justin and Emily on this day, their 2nd wedding anniversary!! And may Christ be with you, in the years to come!! Peace be with you!!🕆🔩🕂🕇

  15. Happy Anniversary to you and Emily! and very sweet what you said to Emily. And really great topic. and I think God's design of marriage , if followed truly with all your heart by obeying the word in love and Faith can never end in divorce but can only grow better every time. and I pray that over you and Emily to go from Glory to Glory in your marriage : )

  16. Very nice points. And the rate of divorce is alarming. I understand that many marriages have Challenges but most people these days act like Divorce is the ONLY Option.

  17. My Granny always used to say "Marry in haste, repent at your leisure". I think people now are with the respective partners longer before marriage, giving them more time to truly get to know each other. My Granny's words always stuck in my head, so when I met my Husband at 16 we didn't marry till I was 21 (although we did get engaged after only 5 months) I'm now 26 and know how lucky I am with my marriage. We make it a constant consideration to communicate about everything and to show love, so I'm hoping this will put us in good stead for the future. Happy anniversary to you guys. God bless.

  18. The lack of divorce within the church could also be a result of the pressure the church puts on the people that attend to remain married out of fear of being discriminated against. This should not occur within the church of Christ but unfortunately it probably plays a huge factor in the matter.

  19. Nailed it! My wife and I devoted our lives and our marriage to Christ when we got married. We wanted something different than what this world had to offer. I washed her feet. Needless to say, it still requires work, just like you said. My wife and I, me especially, had a huge transition for Jesus to walk us through.

    Go check out my channel where I share my views, our lives, and our marriage.

  20. This video is very encouraging for married/single folks who want to have long lasting marriages. I have been married for 3 years now. My parents who were married for 28 years and who always had problems just recently got divorced. This really forced me to think deeply and critically about divorce as my father is a Pastor. I believe that healthy marriages are God's will. In the case of my parents, their priorities, goals, desires, etc were going in opposite directions. It was the best thing for them to part ways and they should have done it sooner. Imagine living in a broken home that seems so perfect on the outside. I think a lot of ppl have strong opinions on divorce but it's usually not people who have ever experienced it. Seeing what my parents went through and what so many others go through, my goal is to communicate, communicate, communicate. Thankfully, my husband and I are Christ followers and dedicated to ministry. A couple has to be on the same page in that regard to even have a chance at lasting. I'm careful not to make judgments about another's situation for God and His Son are the only ones who judge justly. I am letting the Lord renew my mind so that I can be the wife, mother and woman of God he has called me to be so that I can do my part at creating a home of peace and love vs bitterness and brokenness. I love this video and would love to see you address divorcees within the body of Christ as they seem to need just as much encouragement. Peace and blessings and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. My husband and I had many conversations about the subject before getting married, and we both agreed that divorce was not an option. This way, the only choice will be to make it work every day. We have an agreement not to let the sun go down on a bad mood, which means that we have to talk things through before going to sleep no matter the time. This way, we dont bring the problems into the next day. We often pray together when trying to solve a problem, knowing a marriage consists of three parties: husband, wife and God in the middle. This way we dont depend on the other to fulfill all our needs for happiness. God will provide, and we both live happily in our young marriage.
    Thank you for your great videos, God bless 🙂

  22. favorite video so far! the style content and length all worked well. Looking forward to more of these. Congrats to you two and thanks for serving!

  23. too much skipping around the topic…get to the main purpose and make your point and opinion CLEAR it was tough trying to figure out what the main message of the video was …

  24. MGTOW is a reasons for the drops in secular divorce. From the legal system again men where they lose everything, men aren’t getting married anymore. Feminism has lied to women and told them they can have it all when then can’t. You can’t have career and be a good mom. You don’t want other people raising your kids or TV either.

    We have to teach women to go back to the past and men that less sex is better. Pair bonding is lost with each new partner. Think of it like duct tape. After a while you can’t not attach to anyone.

    I would check all those stats which other sources, not just 1.

  25. Right I had a feeling that of course I would find a wife only in church. Across cultural lines for men Slavic women are best. In their culture it's men who play around (in the West it's women) that their reputation for being the BEST wives is based solely on the fact that Christianity is the main religion of Russians. You said less than about 10% chance for those involved at church – btw western men and Slavic women divorce is less than about just that. So the final few % is based on how connected to the spirit you stay and that you remain the head of your wife (Slavic Christian women expect you to lead as the man more than American.) So I've concluded almost 0% chance of divorce as long as you keep growing in the Lord

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