Okay ! So… I am sorry, it is very cold and I am tired, so I’m on my bed And voila, this maybe isn’t the best decor, the best background. But listen. I wanted to talk about a video No, i wanted to make a video about God And about religion. The two not being synonymous and the two not necessarily going together This is a video that isn’t at all prepared, firstly. And this isn’t a video trying to explain what I think of religion or the relationship between feminism and religion or the relationship between veganism and religion or religions my approach of religons of the relationships between them, etc. Those are subjects that are very, very interesting and if you’re ever interested, they are subjects I could tackle. But that’s not the goal of this video. This video is rather, simply, to share my personal position in a somewhat simple and concise manner on… yes, religions, and finally my personal convictions, and my belief, or my lack of belief simply because it’s a subject I find interesting. And then I think that it’s important for maybe better understanding some of my videos or certain messages or some of life choices, simply. And I would also like to bring a different position with regard to what you often hear coming from vegans, from feminists and from youtubers First question: do I believe in God? Yes, I believe in God Many people will be surprised Because many people are surprised when we talk about this topic The majority of people think I’m atheist, which is not the case, far from it It unsettles many people because they think it’s not in agreement with the rest of my values some anticonformism and strong progressism Simply, I’m not a religious person, I’m a person who is very interested in religions I really like all that’s… no, not all that’s religious… I really like religious art, I like religious music I think the feelings of faith, devotion, sacrifice are things that can be extremely beautiful, interesting and inspiring It’s a topic in which I’m really interested in and towards whom I have a critical look but I don’t have a pejorative, stereotypical look and I don’t have prejudices at all I think that one of the reasons why I react as I do towards religion is that I have been in contact with very religious people for a lot of time I know that many people are sometimes quite surprised by the fact that I know quite well the Christian and Islamic religions and my tolerance, let’s say -people perceive it like this- towards Islam and Catholicism, which is the branch of Christianity that I know best I know a little bit Buddhism, I know Hinduism, Shintoism I don’t know Judaism very much because I’m not particularly interested in it and it isn’t a religion which I came across very much during my life It’s true that the rest of religions aren’t unknown for me My parents are atheists my family is absolutely not religious, we’ve never done something religious I’ve never entered a church, I think, with my parents In all my family it has never been a topic point, except with my grandmother when I was little, I often asked her to say some prayers before going to sleep And the thing I find quite interesting and strange, maybe is that from a young age I have had a sort of incontrolable attraction for religion I wanted to be a nun when I was young and for a long time, and even today, I confess that the monastic life and entirely devoud to God and cut off from the world is something that makes me reason and moves me enormously in such a strange way that makes me wonder if I have a particular connection if it reminds me some things from another life or a sort of heritage or past in common with some people in my family that I don’t know I don’t know, but it’s something very specific in my life plus, I think it’s a vocation, and that I think i don’t have a vocation for this So, this is why I haven’t chose that kind of life Since I was little, I was very interested and attracted by religion, religious people, very religious life and Christ. Christ has always been for me an appealing, positive figure, a model simply… And I don’t see in Christ, that a lot of people see For me, Christ is somebody who don’t hesitate to rebel him, can use the violence when he thinks it was usefull someboby who go the underdogs and rejected side was very free and open mind On the contrary, Christian church shows today… Despite my parents were atheists they sent me in a private catholic school and high school Once again, this experience was very well for me I know a lot of people don’t like or are very disgusting In short, a negative experience… It was extremely positive… In high school, there wasn’t emphasis on the religious side on the contrary, widely in the school… there was a chapel, we saw often monks and nuns there was a mass each week, religion lessons, not catechism, it was religion lesson where we talk about religion and religions We learn small tricks, we watch cartoons about Christ life and parables etc I really loved it… It felt a open and caring atmosphere I remember I speak with religion teachers about buddhism, islam… A lot of things like that… I remember, I confessed me while I’m not baptized which it’s impossible But since 14, it was just an attraction and a keen interest so it’s not in the range of beliefs or emotion it was purely intellectual and… I didn’t believe in God Anyway I thank my parents and I think it’s the best approach possible we shouldn’t influence kids on the religion issue after it lost all values this is another thing I was in a environment so neutral, so positive and so open to discussions I never felt pressure I never felt anything negative simply When I was 14, I had an epiphany… which it was so weird for a lot of people it seems ridiculous for people I have the impression… it might be a mistake it might be an illusion maybe there is an rational explication This, I don’t know Do God is rational in reality…? but in short, finally I meet God I had a special experience where I feel something that I don’t feel again in this way and it changed my life, my vision of myself it changed my life and people vision and it’s even crazy when I was 14, it’s there I start to be vegetarian it’s there all changed in my life and I guess it was at the same time it’s still not innocent I was in a special mass for the school director and during this mass, I felt something very fresh and hot at the same time and very bright and… I didn’t dare explain this feeling but but mainly like… Like an air wave but…static which touch you but your hair don’t move which don’t feel in physical and tangible way like we can feel the ordinary wind And the feeling, suddenly the light were different the colors was differents and… I couldn’t explain you I couldn’t explain better than that… And I know a lot of people are thinking “What she is saying…?” “She’s studid or crazy…” But after that, it’s true, I was certain God existed and there is something… In my mind, God it’s not… I haven’t a classical vision of God for me, it’s not this man with a beard this white man on his throne waiting judge us one after the other and waiting us… For me, God is something which is so superhuman we can’t understand or imagine him… but if I have to hypothesize… it was a sort of a energy ball a light and warmth ball, good, goodness, happiness… that is true and fair and I was connected for a second with this entity in a strength way and from this moment, my life changed As soon as this moment, I was convinced I was a God tool and my life have to put on purposes and issues of caring, goodness and sacrifice… In the certain manner, my life was stolen in the same time, I start to understand it and fully living it… “Stolen” because I’m aware I’m not here to me I’m here to the entire life and world, of living beings… That’s really not innocent in relations of my convictions of my engagements and that I do online that I do in my life… It’s strongly linked… And I thought about it a long time I thought about it few months Should I have to get baptised and receive the sacrements…? And finally, I decided not to do it… Because, it’s not linked to God it was linked to human being… And it’s as soon as this moment, I continue to like and be concern with religion but I make a clear distinction between the religious and the dogmatic and the faith For me, faith is private… which is human and superhuman like I already say… and can’t express by human actions… That is why personnaly I don’t understand or at least I don’t join refrictions and codes and conventions transmit by dogmas like clothing dogmas about food about wedding about virginity about sexuality in general… for me, it’s full of smoke and mirrors and it’s… too low, too insignifiant, too human to be linked to God in any manner… The only thing which can… The two only things which can be linked to God, for me, it’s art because it’s superhuman too in my view and goodness, love… That’s why, like I said, I don’t join any dogmas and any directives required by potentially superior people in religious order Because that also makes no sense it’s something special And I have some ambivalence about religions because I understand believers because I’m believer and I understand because I was surrounded by them during a long time so catholics but… When we know one… It’s not very different… And after, I met a lot of muslims and… honestly, they have the same ways if thinking the same hierarchicals structures the same relation of fear and traditions and transmitions So for me, it’s people, speeches, environments ways of thinking which not frightening which not incomprehensible And it’s an environment which I succeed to progress and I can speak easily with these people While I very often disagree with them I think the reject of religions come from fear that it’s comprehensible given events that occured and it’s partially comprehensible during the others periods given christians did during the others periods… But I think there is an important lake of informations… and prejudices on religions and people practising religions It’s such a complex and broad topic people should be more informed to speak about it and submit an opinion… As soon as you know a bit about religions, it’s amazing like you’re much less afraid… And I see this with persons whom don’t receive this religious education and experience that I had… or whom come from countries the experience was totally different… and they have a vision to the religions, believers and religious totally different I don’t blame this persons but it’s counterproductive and it’s sad because that cut off all communications… that cut off self-critics and critics of religions… and in our time, it’s crucial and important in reality… God isn’t religion and the religion isn’t God in my mind… Well… I just wanted to share this with you I’m very curious to know what to you think about it and yes and last point, if I also make this video, it’s because I’m against atheist speeches very agressive, violent and peremptory… very intolerant and very… negative online and circulate in certain circles that I frequent I think it’s not positive I found it’s not conform with the values which this circles want to defend So, I want to make my contribution to show something else I hope it was interesting I hope you’re not much shocked or surprised by this video and I tell you see you next time… Bye !