CHAD: The Frat God

Hey girl! I see you checking me out over there! Why don’t you come over here and I can put the STD in U! [CHUCKLES] Hey girl! Why don’t you come over to Tuck’s corner and we can- [SIGH] Fine! I didn’t want you anyway! Bro… this party fucking BLOWS! I know, bro! This party blows so bad it’s making my beer taste like Natty Light! Dudes… Where are all the drunk sorority girls? Bro… I sent, like, 50 fucking dick pics with party invites NO bitches. What?! Boys… Just got an idea… You know what would make this party better? If we, like, hit up Chad! Bro! Are you fucking high, my dude?! It’s too dangerous! Bro… I have a Biochem test in the morning and I can’t show up to that shit sober! He’s right, my dude. And you know our guidelines! We don’t show up to any test… sober! Fuck! You’re right, my dudes. You know what? Us! Let’s fucking do it! Let’s fucking do it! Let’s go! Let’s go! OMEGA ALPHA PHI!!! Dude! Asuh dude! He’s too lit, my dudes! What have we done?! Trent! Look away! He’s beautiful, my dude! [SCREAM] [SCREAMS]


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